11th
Spring Break: The Reader’s Digest Version
Sunday: Bridget and her friends wake me with their obnoxiously loud breakfast chatter. I pack for my trip, have breakfast, watch bad morning television before going to the airport. The flight from Sydney to Ballina lasts about an hour. No free food, no free drinks. Not even water. You suck, Virgin Blue. It turns out that Ballina is about a half-hour drive from Byron Bay. The shuttle costs $15. I am not pleased. When I arrive at the hostel, I instantly wish I had never left my apartment in the first place. The room is filthy, and a random person is napping on one of the beds despite the fact that it is only 3pm. After lunch, Brendon and I go to the beach. He quickly becomes bored and we return to the hostel to play volleyball in the world’s dirtiest sand. Brendon then proceeds to complain to the front desk staff about having to share a double bed with me. They give us a new room that has cockroaches on the ceiling. We go into town for pizza. We walk on the beach at sunset, but it is decidedly not romantic. The lighthouse still works, and I stay for a bit to watch it. Just before bed, three German girls arrive in our room. They do not speak English. I do not sleep all night for fear of bed bugs and other creepy crawlies.
Monday: Brendon wakes up at a very unreasonable hour and suggests we go to the beach. Even before he can get bored, it rains. On our way back to the hostel, we spot signs for a cinema and Brendon decides we have to go. I agree only because there is nothing else to do in the dirty, hippie-filled town of Byron Bay. We see Yes Man, a mediocre Jim Carrey movie I did not want to see when it was out in the States. Brendon does not offer to share his Skittles with me. Back at the hostel, we play Scrabble and I almost die of boredom. Brendon takes about five minutes to think up each word. We have dinner at a sketchy Portuguese chicken joint before watching How I Met Your Mother and Desperate Housewives in the even sketchier TV room at Backpacker’s Inn. Again, I barely sleep, this time because the German girls decide to leave the overhead light on until well past 3am.
Tuesday: Again, Brendon gets up far earlier than necessary. We begin a hike to the Byron Bay lighthouse, which sits on the easternmost point in Australia. Brendon complains the whole way. Halfway up the mountain, he decides he doesn’t want to go any further. He walks so fast on the way back that I feel as though I might go into cardiac arrest. Back in town I decide we should part ways for the afternoon. Brendon goes off to find internet access because he can’t go more than a few hours without needing to email his girlfriend. I go shopping for a bit, then wait at the bus stop for my Greyhound to Surfer’s Paradise to arrive. Never in my life have I been so glad to leave a place as I was when we pulled out of Byron Bay. In Surfer’s, my hostel is lovely and clean. There is an ensuite bathroom and a balcony. Our roommates our English, and one of them is quite handsome. I decide that Surfer’s Paradise is my new favorite place.
Wednesday: Brendon decides he wants to go to Warner Bros. Movie World, a mediocre theme park near Surfer’s, and will not allow me to stay behind. I am unimpressed. I end up riding the Scooby Doo Spooky Coaster three times. We see a stunt driving show, which is the highlight of the day. On our trip back to town, Brendon gets off the bus at the wrong stop and I am forced to walk six blocks to the hostel. I later go to dinner with the English guys. Brendon is displeased about this, and at one point proclaims, “I’m responsible for you!” I tell him I am a big girl and soon realize that I had not been having enough fun up until that point. I decide to fix that problem immediately.
Thursday: It’s very hot. I do nothing in particular all day. Brendon goes to the movies. I do not miss him. I go to the beach. Our new roommates arrive - a German girl and two Irish guys. I stay home to watch Grey’s Anatomy while they experience dinner at Hooter’s for the first time ever.
Friday: Our trip to the rainforests in Springbrook National Park begins very early. Our tour guide, Meagan, is far too energetic when we meet her at 8am. Her enthusiasm quickly rubs off on me. We have coffee overlooking the Nerung River. We hike to the bottom of Natural Arch. We have a delicious lunch at a small picnic grove. We take a 4km walk around the Twin Falls circuit. Meagan goes for a swim in the pool at the bottom of the falls. I am afraid of leeches. I do not swim. We go to Best of All Lookout and immediately understand how it got its name. We see Antartic Beech trees that have been growing since the time of the dinosaurs. We go to the Forest of Dreams and feed parrots. I almost cry inside the glowworm grotto, but the bioluminescence was beautiful nonetheless. Before heading to Brisbane, we stop at a fudge shop and I buy some delicious caramel-chocolate fudge. Brendon waits outside. In Brisbane, I am very disappointed by our hostel. We have six roommates, all of whom return home at 5am the next morning after a night of heavy drinking. Before going to bed, Brendon tells me he was disappointed by how foresty the rainforest was. I resist the urge to tell him he’s an idiot.
Saturday: We get up early to go to the Australia Zoo, aka the Steve Irwin Zoo. Our bus driver is very knowledgable and tells us a few great stories about the Irwin family. The zoo is not as large as the Taronga Zoo in Sydney. It’s ridiculously hot. Brendon gets on my nerves very quickly, so I wander away to explore on my own. I see a live crocodile feeding, but no one tries to but their head in its mouth or perform any other crazy, Croc Hunter-esque stunt. Brendon pays $20 to hold a koala. I learn that the koalas must be sedated before tourists can use them as a prop in their souvenir photos and, because I think this is cruel, I choose not to participate. Back in Brisbane, I have dinner at the bar downstairs, then finish off the night playing pool with a guy named Lucas. We win 15 games in a row. Brendon, meanwhile, is watching Ace Ventura by himself in the TV room upstairs.
Sunday: Brendon and I split up for the day. I go to the Museum of Brisbane. At David Jones (a huge department store in the Queen’s Arcade), I almost cry when I see the extensive hat collection. I try many of them on, but do not buy one because they are very expensive. I meet up with Brendon at the airport, but do not wait with him at the gate. I secretly request a seat change so I do not have to sit next to him. When I finally make it back to my apartment, I shower, then promptly fall asleep.
